funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. I read that post all the time. What the letter-writer is doing seems a bit like foreign people not grasping at first that Americans dont expect How are you? to be answered literally. In a lot of cases I dont think its meant to be manipulative, its just a verbal tic. Sometimes my kids and I need that to be family time, so were going to block that out going forward., one of those people who force you to be blunt., Indeed, do say to her: Im going to ask you guys to walk to school on your own; trying to coordinate with your family is simply too much stress for us. have a Canadian accent that some USians pick up, and I dont mind if people ask if Im Canadian). Life is good and I'm happy. I see it my grandmothers A LOT, and how its been passed down to their daughters mainly. While having to put up with gday, mate lacks the structural oppression of whats aimed at POC, it is still annoying. The people who are asking what are you doing this weekend? before making a request are taking away the LWs easy out that is, by getting LW to admit that he/she/they are free, the option to refuse with Oh, sorry, I have plans already is no longer there. "Weekends are days to refuel your soul and to be grateful for the blessings that you have." - Anonymous 2. Going to mars where children don't ask questions. But if I dont, I have that empathy worry, like what if they only said yes because they felt like they couldnt say no? Is it OK to invite the usual people? I feel like sometimes there is such a huge anti-parent bias among the commenters here. My ILs do this. If I catch myself, before they respond lll clarify what my actual invitation is. I, personally, like to ask what are you doing this weekend, something fun? when small-talking with my co-workers and friends, and I also hate this question with a passion when its a step to an actual invitation (two very different things!). People on a dating site who ask what youre up to on Thursday are not literally asking what youre doing Thursday. Im a hardcore introvert, most of my plans are sitting at home, not doing anything in particular and if I answer the question truthfully, and then there comes the invitation, Im in a very tight spot because I already admitted that I dont have anything serious enough to warrant me declining the offer. Man, that sounds great, but I know Im forgetting something on my calendar. I feel like its asking me to say yes or no to an invitation / commitment before I even know what it is (like, if youre having a party I might be free, but my babysitting quota is full for the month so no to that). People here are talking about changing a norm, but you have in fact learned the norm correctly, and Im sure this whole conversation feels like slipping sand beneath your feet. Thaaats what Im telling myself about my children anyway. In fact this letter reminds me a lot of a lady I knew once who moved to the US from a different english-speaking country and took offense to people asking her where she was from when they heard her accent. Basically, I dont think people are trying to be manipulative and I do think youre overthinking this, OP. I suppose its more of an emotional labor thing? Instead, choose from these five replies. I dont want to give you a rundown of my plans. I understand theyre looking for an ice breaker, but its not that interesting to talk about Ill probably get to laundry if Im not too lazy. I wish there was another common conversation starter among people you already know. (And if you are Susie, forget about it!). Trying to build a house. Funny Ways to Respond to "How Are You?" Overworked and underpaid. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. But yeah. Especially since they explicitly mention friends, relatives, and people on dating sites. And its hard to argue with. This week is bad for me, but next week Im free except Tuesday. There have been days when I could be found dancing on the couch and all over the house with this and Bad Reputation on a playback loop, both middle fingers proudly in the air. Theres also Its not really surprising when you think about the mechanics of it its basically stereotype threat / stereotype threat removed. Ahhhh the family stuff. It almost feels like if they just sneak up on me with some super fun plans I might say yes more often. A lot of the people old enough to have adult children at this point still put phone communication on some kind of pinnacle in their minds, because thats what they grew up with. It is handy because it has a friendly tone of I dont want to go into detail while still participating in the conversation. I also come from an area that tends to do a lot more indirect communication than I think many parts of the US, though, and tend to prefer a softer communication style unless someones being either rude or unaware enough to force me into being blunt. I have done that just doing errands/washing the car/housekeeping/taxes/library/walking the dog you? and still gotten a but are you doing anything FUN follow-up question(s). Or only if you consider it important? Unless I have specific plans that I want to talk about, my two go to answers are: Oh, Im not sure yet! if Im open to a suggestion from who Im talking to; or Oh, Im not sure yet, why? if I feel like theyre being nosy or trying to figure out what my schedule is so they can invite me to something when they know Im free then put pressure on my if I say no (mother, Im looking at you). For the record, I will totally cat-sit for you. I really like this point! UGH. Gah, I still worry though, like Blueberry Pancaaakes said about her sister, what if she cancels plans she needed or would have enjoyed? No matter how old you are, you don't want to be badgered about your life choices. For people Im close enough to be snarky with Its depends Are you asking for fun or work?, I like this, but Id go maximum snark and phrase it as, Is this about business or pleasure?, I say Ill have to check. Ive been loving all your responses on this thread. The person is saying something factually incorrect. And Im totally ok with that. Re #1, true that. Try these instead. I used to preemptively dodge any potential would you like to / can you do X follow-ups by making vague allusions to being busy upfront (PASSIVE), and then Id weakly paw away their insisting that I can/should be able to do it because THEY think I have the time to. I dont know why shes not a foreign diplomat with all the people she can bring together. 4. How should I respond? I thought why do you ask? meant you are being nosy. I get you wanting to be met at the airport under those circumstances. She didnt have other plans; she just wanted to draw a line in the sand about him telling her what to do. I really enjoyed my years living in the American South, but I realized the day would never come when I wouldnt be seen as an outsider. Every girl loves the rebel without a cause. Things have a funny way of working out. 1. When a friend asks and I find out that I am busy I often offer some other day to show them that I am interested in hanging out with them. And they tend to be very very very sure of what counts as racism (nothing they do/say, of course), with an overlay of you should be grateful I am nice to you to wrap it all up. Thursday is awful for me rushing all day invites the questioner to drop the topic, and Nothing, how about you invites the questioner to ask you to the fun thing. That's why you should remember these funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for the next time the question pops up: If you have no idea what degree you're going to get or where you want to live in the future, pretend that you have something big planned, but don't want to ruin the surprise. I actually get this a lot from people who are actually trying to start conversations, rather than invite me somewhere. 2. Why is receiving an invite considered such a stressor and its ok not to get back to the person. When I asked him later, What the heck? Lots of commenters here are noting that people ask about weekend plans as small talk. One of my long-time boundaries is I wont date a guy who cant properly carry out an invitation and follow it through. Btw, the annoyed reaction at go to the airport and the misunderstanding re: grandma could be exactly because she is used to you making decisions for her and expecting her to follow through. , I am in a cat trance. It generally meant that they had read somewhere on some really stupid website that you should try to get the girl you want to talk about herself, because girls like to talk about themselves. So that golden rule requires a bit of pre-invitation sounding-out. Just make sure to follow these three rules for sending Tinder messages: Keep it PG-13, even on Tinder. What are the usual scripts? The one my family goes with is Surviving. New day, old me, just doing routine stuff. We should hang out sometime soon! Is something I expect people to either reply yeah that would be fun or ignore/tell me theyre swamped but wish they could do as a no. When Im asked that question (by people other than DD), I usually go with Why do you ask?. leaving them vulnerable to all kinds of predation as teens and young adults. Id like to leave you with a couple of last thoughts to consider: One is that you say she has reacted to, We are going to by hearing a command and responding accordingly. I kind of like your signature line as a response! If the asker tends to demand stuff from me, Im likely to claim Ill be busy. For grocery store cashiers, I keep the answer short: Wet, on a rainy day, or Need more coffee this one particularly for coffee shop baristas, who probably hear it too often. It can be so hard to set boundaries with the inlaws! The joke about (insert joke) cracked me up on your profile. And LW is already handling the situation in the best possible way by giving noncommittal answers. I dont have any good answers because that particular form of domestic abuse excessively leaning on the partner for a deluge of small things to the point it is messing up the partners life is pandemic in American culture right now, nearly always but not always done by men to women. You an also use it to deflect people like the commenters who are entirely not malicious, because it can serve the same purpose of filling small talk, providing a topic of easy conversation, and/or signaling that you are busy but flexible to people you actually like. LW is a better person than I; I would be tempted to say, I desperately need to re-grout the bathroom and weed the garden. It takes a bit of confidence to state clearly and categorically what you want and then ask someone else to join in that thing, and not everyone has that degree of confidence. So, sometimes it is a trap! etc. I do want to clarifyI miswrote: if my daughter says she needs to take some mental health time and thats why she cant spend an hour helping me w/ a family project, thats not fallout worthshes busy. So when you talk about watching her leisure time and knowing how she spends it all, I hear a situation that would be psychologically unhealthy for a teenager, let alone someone in their mid-twenties. I have a group of friends now whom I trust not to give me a hard time about the explicit choice to paint my toenails in front of Netflix instead of going out. Im thinking the letter we had a while back with mandatory no premade food potlucks is a glaring example of a culture that needs changed, but I would also like to see room in the workplace for people who are good at their work but are reserved/private/not interested in relationships with their coworkers outside of work. What are you doing this weekend? Feeding a giraffe. But dont try to play us off against each other. RT @h_miller76: Had you asked me what I'd be doing this weekend a long time ago, I would have said the NFL Combine. - Ogden Nash - Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. Any request for someones time, regardless of the setting of the fun variable in your mind. FRIEND: I am available [date]! You can be too busy for a request, or have no conflict if you want. Mind you, I am white and middle aged and cis-passing, if not actually middle class OR a lady, so this may not work as well for everybody "Thank you, I appreciate that.". And just because my plans dont include hanging out with anyone or leaving my home, it doesnt mean that I am free or willing to cancel them. How can I ask in a way that minimizes that feeling? Yes, this. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. I cant see into the future and neither can the people in my life. Amusing to think of borrowing a line from upthread: Well, it sounds like youre inviting me to something interesting! Given that the cousin is seeking babysitting, What are you doing on Thursday, followed by, Great, youre available to babysit for me! is an incredibly rude and pushy way to go about asking for that favor. Nothing much (I have one coworker who now sometimes asks me What are you doing this weekend? Its been pretty good policy.) My response if Im up for it is Looking like a fun one, but did you have something in mind? If Im probably not up for it I say All the things! Just treating it as a question of not disclosing/being private is entirely the wrong approach. friend: yep cool No, they just assume that you will want to do the thing. I dont know? Interesting. #2 is a good point. Make up a lease and sign it. She gets what crowds people like and is on point with inviting me to the right events. It avoids (in their mind) making the person feel pressured to commit if they dont actually want to. - Casey Stengel I ask this question all the time. In general, most people will expect a response like this when they . But it puts me on edge every time I hear it. ME: Great! Its any individuals choice whether the tradeoffs are worth it. because sometimes we have plans that cant change. They need to stop it. I think we can get trapped in endless circles of soft invitations where neither person ever gets the push to move forward, so Ive tried to get more into the habit of being explicit about a desire for the other person to act. You can begin with, "I hope this email finds you well," which has the same meaning as "Hope you are doing well". The second interpretation of this question is, what are you doing in life? They help us tons, just because they love us and were family. Here's the most obvious answer that no one can argue with. I have one dear friend in particular that has the busiest social life I know. Always always have a plan I forgot about until next day. You on the other hand, will get off the phone feeling charged and energized.and get right back to doing nothing. Setting that aside for the moment, its apparently *supposed* to go like this: you said you had no plans! you into babysitting or helping them with yardwork, they just want to ask you a fun, low-stakes question. 1) Let the weekend memes begin! Alternatively were just going to have to start getting out of bed earlier so we dont run into them, but I suspect that if she realised we were doing that she might actually change her own schedule. (Like, Im the kind of introvert who is good with people but I know a few who are just exhausting and who drain my battery super quickly), Could you have a conversation with her about, Were gonna have to schedule when all of our kids are walking to school. It still feels awkward, even though I do not think she is trying to manipulate me or claim my time. If I have no specific plans, she thinks my time is hers (but you said you were doing nothing! and she likes to be like cousin in example 3, re her children doing lots of stuff for her because thats what good kids are supposed to do (and if were not performing like good kids, then shes a bad mother ~guilt guilt~) and she doesnt like to ask directly* so it often comes across as manipulative or passive-aggressive). Give small truths. I think this is an expected thing for women to do. Thank you!!! Then match the sentences with the correct picture. Maybe shorter comments go through immediately but longer ones need mod-approval? The kind of situation where someone finds out you are free that evening and then says, Good! If I get hungry enough, Ill consider eating them. You are doing things and going places. LWs letter got me thinking and i thought about using this kind of questions and realized that the only time I actually use them is with really close friends with whom I would just like to hang out or intend to make plans together. Youre right, adult people who feel safe and are treated well like adult people probably dont react like that. Wake up late Sunday morning and go ride or play in the mud. I think with the people I know it is fairly mutually asked for that reason. LW gets that this is all tied up with threats of violence. Me: Nope. I think feeling unsafe crosses the line where a relationship cant be repaired. Climbing mt laundry! But I dont think you can compare me to your dad. The bigger words you use, the better. Me? Vagueing it up works for me. It was glorious. I think the idea is that someone who thinks no is hard will get the direct request and start cancelling plans, because no one would actually directly ask for babysitting unless this was the most important event of their lives. All right, good, fine, grand are the normal answers, and then its repeated back. Them : Ah, then Ill get back to you (They never get back to you). Why? I am definitely not math or sciencey, just like my me time, so that wouldnt have occurred to me. I also trained myself to say, Oh just marathoning *show I like* or I picked up a new book and cant wait to dive in! which they translate to doing a thing. (I suppose they thought that before I responded that way. 1. For me, it was lack of basic adult civility and respect that was the death knell I didnt expect safety or that level of support after 18 and didnt feel wronged that it was not given. However, there are a lot of male people who use this approach on female people because they are trying to be coercive. Probably so he can finish the conversation with enjoy [fun thing]. I always respond to casual/formulaic how are you questions with something positive, specific, and widely approachable. 2. 21. (If shes British, hopefully that will scare the crap out of her and shell leave you alone. Other commenters have given great scripts. Although you risk hearing all about the questioners plans. in a family meeting you decide that father empties the dishwasher, daughter cooks on weekdays, mother cooks on weekends or whatever) which also lets her develope that skills. I get that I might not be asked to future events as well. That way they know Im not just sitting around with nothing to do, so I havent just signed myself up for free babysitting or moving services. Although it can be asked in the ways LW talks about too, usually for me it is just a way of sharing life with friends and doesnt have much motivation beyond that. So the LWs anger at nosy questions is more than justified. My Kid: No (shuts door again) I was never taught that was the correct answer. I do have friends who have trouble planning things for various reasons and often say things like I miss you or We should hang out more without doing anything to make it happen. Its real. Im self employed so I can realistically be working at any time and date. Sorry friends, but bears, Zombies, whateverwe're gonna have to leave you behind. Your feelings are your own and it sounds like What are you doing this weekend? has reached a point where hearing the question adds a ton of negativity to the interaction for you, which might be where this response is coming from? Im lucky because any plans for the weekend? questions are just small talk (i.e. It sounds like he'd get into some fun and adventurous dates. Whaaaaaat. Id be open to a one-on-one hangout but just out of energy for any group thing, if thats why youre asking laundryall the laundry. Sometimes friends do tell me theyre free, but if I suggest something, they might still say nah, not what I want to do this weekend and thats fine as well! Also, the teachers here will not do your homework for you. 4. If the reason for you that you daughter should help you at X time with X thing is because family, is the reverse also true? Getting up before 10:30 drinking some more beer and starting to work on my truck/dirt bike this should consume your whole Saturday until about 10:00 then you drink lots of beer and head out with your buds. Throwing another vote in for a friendly Why? or Why, whats up? Assuming I like them, I usually say it with a smile or an inviting tone. And luckily the people asking me are perfectly able to graciously accept a No. It's healthy and doesn't cost a penny. Your mother/father and I are going to X, would you like to come along?. We do this so thoroughly that we then have to figure out how to re-train them so this doesnt put them at greater risk in the presence of predators, and we dont do that re-training thoroughly enough. Or something. eh, my mother does that. My belief is that its easier to layer politeness onto a firm foundation of self-aware no than it is to find no after being trained to be obliging. What are you doing this weekend? Later that evening I find out through facebook that HE went out ice skating, with several of our friends, and he had never even mentioned to me that he was going, let alone asked if I wanted to come too! For acquaintances, the way you do in Sweden will also work in the US. If they play extra coy with me, Ill just be extra cryptic in return. My small college town has become a lot more cosmopolitan over my lifetime, and weve got enough of an international population now that Im deeply curious about many of the customers at the store where I work. I want to ask you to help me with a project tonight. My workmates and I ask all the time stuff like what are you up to tonight/on the weekend? and its almost never a prelude to inviting them to something, its just small talk sharing our lives. I find that are you doing anything interesting this weekend? can come across as less pressuring than what are you doing this weekend? Not only does it focus the question onto peoples hobbies/interests, but the answer no, not really doesnt automatically mean that someone is free. Since "doing" is an action verb, we need to use the adverb "well" to describe that action. 2. Thats already happenedshe made a big stink about her dad telling her that they were all going to do something to support me at a time when I was really upset (something that would have taken about an hour of her time). Might I suggest a they or a xie, my friend. Its also tripping flags in your head, which is infinitely more important. Id rather know the thing up front so I can answer it directlyare you free without telling me the activity feels like a setup. Another example: My parents both corrected their local accents to American Standard Television English long before I was born, so I grew up with that accent myself. So, when they ask what youre doing this weekend and seem likely skip ahead to of course youre going to my potluck and bringing the thing I promised everyone youll bring without actually asking you and/or so you can babysit ALL WEEKEND LONG, be ok with letting them down. Kind of a random revelation after reading everyones advice and responses: I think this is up for me right now because Im new to the online dating world and, because of my past experience with my family, I am having a hard time telling if the question is of the innocuous kind (like when co-workers ask my plans for the weekend), a soft opening to trying to ask me out, or the kind of manipulation that Ive, for better or for worse, learned to be on alert for. Yeah, my parents did that too. . Thinking of seeing [movie]. "I'm having a productive day.". I get that youre saying you dont do this often and you see it as a minor part of your relationship. (You could also just say no and keep going, but that can cause conflict with them, which you might or might not want.) Justit can be a lot sometimes. Although I have one co-worker who apparently does laundry on weekdays sometimes. and then if I do end up wanting to do whatever it is they want to do, suddenly my schedule cleared up! Try to be kind and positive in your response. So, since my unspoken fear in this situation is that Ill have revealed my availability for an activity I dont want to do and that Ill be too polite to outright say I dont want to go, I figured I might as well express it, even if jokingly. Others also have lives to plan and need to know (cancel event, find someone else, make other plans). I personally feel really pressured by the question simply because it puts me in the position of having to say yes or no before I even know what Im saying yes or no to. For example, I used to host (board and card) game nights at my home, and Id create an event on Facebook, invite everyone who was part of this group, and ask them to please let me know as soon as they knew whether or not theyd be there, at least by the day before, so I could plan how much food Id need to buy/make. So yeah, I feel that part too. These are my 2 best friends for over 20 years each! "You know I can do this anytime.". And sometimes the answer is well but if they respond that way theyre not your friends anyway, but we interact with a lot of people who are not our friends but who are important to our lives (coworkers, for example, or in-laws) and yet who can levy that cost. I find looking out for the people who cause difficulty when things dont go their way, is more useful than trying to figure out all the numerous different ways common interactions could be interpreted and trying to use the right one for every situation. Them We need to have lunch soon I also dont hesitate to tell people, Id have to check my calendar, what about you? in response to this kind of question! And I had to say to her, over the airport thing: Act like a grownup. Or at least, it will be seen as rude by many people that I know and had had this conversation with. But of course Im going to judge her reason for refusing. So of course, you tell her, youll all walk separately from now on (keep the cheery loud voice of happy certainty and smile hugely the whole time). Your radishes that you consider joint family radishes because everyone could eat them? It happens every time I get him as a teller. I Hope You. Yeah if I like the person and might be into it I usually friend-flirt with a depends on why!. Like I also find whatre you doing this weekend to be pretty normal but also can feel very intrusive, but if I had people in my life like the LWs who were using it to try to make me do things I didnt want to do while making it seem like they were not making me do things itd get to be a really irritating and hair-trigger question pretty fast. Riding an elephant. There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. Thats just how some people ask I suppose. In fact there the joke of cant do that, I have to.. (silly excuse of having plans like go wash my hair) that day illustrating that sometimes the white lie of making up plans is an easy way to get out of doing something. So when I get a what are you doing after work Friday? text halfway through work on Thursday just tell me what youre going to suggest in the same message. Im actually really surprised at how many people have expressed that they find this question neutral small talk and/or dont understand why it can feel so loaded. Answer vaguely. It never occurred to me to take this question literally. Id also add that when youve lived in a place for years and are planning to stay, like I am in my husbands home country, it gets very tiring to have everyone assume youre just visiting or that youre an international student and will be gone soon. Julia has been . Thats my favorite response! If you have people in your life who you trust not to get offended at this exchange, definitely give this method a try. But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. Yep, my wife and I too. Glad that this day is not that worse. Giving my turtle a haircut. Getting this question still stresses me out because I feel like I have to work 100x harder to set and enforce said boundaries than if people just asked up front. It is trickery and so frustrating. Anyway, the grad students said one woman asked, How do you think she got like that? and others nodded with pursed lips, agreeing that there was something wrong there.

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